How to Repair Beef Short Ribs

A number of years ago I was introduced to a book called "How to Repair Food." It was loaded with suggestions on fixing culinary mistakes. I thought it was cute at the time, but this past Monday I wished I had a copy of my own.

It was Memorial Day which meant John had the day off work. That alone was worth celebrating so I pulled out beef short ribs that I hoarded in my freezer for the last year and a half. Part of storing them so long was because I hated to not have them anymore and part of it was not knowing exactly how to prepare them. But anyone can follow a recipe and slam out some good cooking, right?

In this case, wrong. Very wrong.

I read about Texan-style preparation in which you smoke the ribs for hours. That sounded amazing but not having a good way of smoking ribs, I perused recipes until I came across one that looked delicious and fail-proof. It said to bake the ribs for two hours and grill them for twenty minutes, brushing them with your sauce every five minutes.

I had serious questions when I pulled the ribs from the oven after over two hours of baking. They seemed pretty tough but I hoped a little grilling might do the trick. It didn't. These ribs seemed unfazed by nearly three hours of heat. They were a challenge to my Cutco, not to mention my teeth.

The ribs reminded me of the kebab I purchased by leaning out of a bus window in Africa. The first bite took five miles of hard, determined chewing before I finally gave up and spit the thing discreetly into a tissue. I have never forgotten my five-mile-kebab and have laughed over it many times. Suddenly, thanks to tough short ribs, the humor was gone.

"Well, this might only be a three-mile bite," I said obnoxiously around a chunk of disappointment. But that might have been a too generous description.

Not surprisingly, there were leftovers. "Now what?" I asked, stabbing the hunk with vengeance. I imagined it getting tougher as it cooled and ending up as a teething toy for the neighbor dogs. 

But the phrase "How to Repair Food" came to mind. I didn't know what the cookbook would say, but I figured there had to be a way to salvage these. . .things. 

I think it was the leftover pineapple that sparked the saving inspiration. Alongside the meat, I had grilled fresh pineapple rings which had been marinated in honey and melted butter. They were amazing and if I hadn't been so disappointed over my carefully hoarded ribs being nearly inedible, I would have enjoyed them immensely. 

Together with the sauce and the ribs, I added the pineapple and put it all in the Crockpot on Low. My initial instincts were to keep them there for the next week, roughly, but curiosity won and I lifted the lid after a single afternoon.

It had worked.  The leftover ribs were all I had dreamed of originally -maybe even better, thanks to the pineapple. 

There really is a way to repair short ribs. In that case, anyone wanna come for dinner? (Hint: Ask for leftovers.)