The Art of Receiving Compliments

I have no idea what my younger sister told me anymore, but she complimented me on something.  And I, the Master Compliment Deflector, brushed it aside with some dark comment about myself, totally negating the good she had spoken and changing a bright moment to a negative one.  Oh, I was laughing.  Sort of, at least.  

That night in the privacy of our room, John had a wise word to give me.  "I don't like to hear you say negative things about yourself.  Especially when someone gives you a compliment, you tend to turn it around by saying something negative.  You are my dearest treasure and I hate to hear you spoken of like that."

It was one of those rare moments --you know the kind?  The kind that without a wrestle or even a twinge of emotion, I looked at his words logically, knew all he said was true, and knew that, from that very moment, I had forever changed.  

"You are right," I told him seriously.  "I have been doing that, and I'm sorry.  I won't do it anymore."

And the matter was settled. 

The next morning, I went to my sister and apologized, "Hey, yesterday when you gave me a compliment, I said 'this' and I'm sorry.  I'm done with being negative about myself."

That was when things changed, at least 98% of the time anyway.  I often catch myself now when I start to say something negative, recognize the wrong in doing that, and can correct (or avoid) the error.  Changing my ways in this was one more step towards becoming a positive person and one more step away from discouragement (after all, how a person thinks about himself is what he becomes). 

So, how do you accept a compliment when you don't want to appear proud and sucking up the praise given to you?  Here are some ideas to consider when responding to a compliment:

1. Make it your goal to leave a positive feeling surrounding each interaction you have with others--including when they give you a compliment.
With my husband, it was easy.  I still might not always agree with his husbandly admiration, but I have learned to sincerely  and cheerfully say, "I'm so glad you think so."  Or I can smother him with affection and say, "You think so?  Thank you!"  My change in response has helped keep the moment positive.  Love and affection grow much better in that environment than they do in a negative one.  

Learning to accept a compliment from other people proved to be a little harder, but a sincere "Thank you" spoken with a genuine smile usually works jolly well.  At other times, especially if it is a blessing spoken about seeing God at work in or through me, a "Praise God" often answers the blessing and fits the moment.  It leaves a much better "feel" than saying, "Oh, I've got so far to go..."   No one is fooled; we all have areas that need a lot of growth.  But at the moment God gives you an encouraging word, let it be the blessing it was meant to be.  

2. Accepting a compliment validates the person who gives it.  
By forever trying to deny what they are saying, you are forever telling them that they don't have good taste.  Which isn't exactly a nice thing to tell your friends.  

3. Pride isn't squelched by deflecting a compliment.
If you deflect compliments in order to not appear prideful, be aware that pride is just as alive and well in denial or the sarcastic answers as it would be if you sucked up the moment with a haughty, "You are right.  I'm the best cook in the country."  Far better, then, to graciously tell them "Thank you" and let it go at that rather than have them try to convince you by reinforcing their original statement by another barrage of words.

4. Compliments are rare animals.  Accept them when they do come to you.
Maturity and grace meet when you can accept a compliment cheerfully, tuck it away in your mental file of "Blessings that Came to Me", and go on your way rejoicing.  There is no pride in that.  And the Giver goes away with a warm smile themselves for having passed along a blessing.  

Go on, then.  Accept the next compliment that comes to you.  Both you and the Giver will be blessed.