Bridging Transition

Image sourced from pixabay.com

Transition is an explosion of change and emotional upheaval. If you are going through a major life change (job switch, moving to a new community, etc.), you might find this bridge analogy a helpful one. We have. 

One side of the bridge is firmly planted on the soil of That Which is Familiar To You. For us, it was Ghana. We had daily routines, were comfortable with our roles, knew local prices, had a church, friends, and a place to belong. Here are words that have been used to describe this stage: 

• stable
• comfortable
• boring
• pleasant
• safe
• familiar

Stepping onto the first segment of the bridge begins the time of Unsettling. There are lots of goodbyes to say, belongings to sort, (in our case) an entire life to pack into totes, replacements to train. Hearts are filled with a strange mixture of sadness that comes with saying goodbye and the throbbing excitement of happy hellos to come. Goodbyes always include loss of some kind. In this stage, you begin to get a sense of what you are about to lose and what you will gain. Some descriptions from people who have been in this unsettling period are: 

• uncertainty
• excitement
• doubt 
• anxious
• busy
• exhausting
• tired of goodbyes
• sorting 

From there, you step into the center of the bridge, correctly labeled with a single word: CHAOS. The happiness of seeing family and the fun of eating cheeseburgers gets all tangled up with the uncertainty what is expected of you and the guilt of enjoying the good life while others are still working and suffering. Gains and losses, complete happiness and total sadness, it is all there. This is a time of: 

• overwhelm
• exhaustion
• frustration
• excitement
• guilt 
• fear
• stress
• dependence
• joy
• sadness
• don't fit in

The final stretch of the bridge is the Resettling stage. In this stage, you are becoming familiar with the new routines, house and vehicles are being acquired, and you learn the local price for peanut butter. You might be feeling:

• hope
• gratitude
• confidence
• relief

Experts say you have successfully crossed the bridge when you are settled in a house, job, and church. Routines are working. Home feels established. You have resettled.

Reader, perhaps you recognize yourself somewhere on this bridge. Transition is a process and can be a lengthy one, depending on the support you receive and the depths of your loss. Regardless of your pace or place on the bridge, take heart. Our God, Who never changes, is with you throughout your transition. 

And there is more good news: Bridges don't last forever. 

Goodbyes, Hellos, and Change

Several months ago, we said good-bye to the missionary team we were a part of for three uninterrupted years. We miss the sense of belonging that team-life gives you and, of course, we miss the team themselves.

Our family during the farewell the team held for us

We also said goodbye to Deeper Life, the church that had become our home and was filled with our friends. They held a farewell service for us, complete with a message from the district pastor, formal photographs, and gifts. We were deeply blessed by their love and care. 

We said goodbye to friends and pets, neighborhood and house, markets and the richness of overseas living. 

Two of Tyler's pets, turtles Tiny and Moses

Shortly thereafter, we said hello to 19 family members who met us at the airport. We flew through Paris, abandoning a visit to the Eiffel Tower on our short layover after multiple people discouraged us from going, including our French flight attendant. It was good we didn't risk it because it would have been too bad to be delayed in France with all this love waiting to be showered upon us.

 I almost always think of Heaven when I look back at these homecomings. The love, the connection, and the joy of reuniting is surely only a foretaste of what Heaven will be like.

  

On our last day in Ghana, we were able to have our favorite food one last time. I chose kenkey, a steamed, fermented corn dough eaten with a spicy sauce. 

And not many days later, we were enjoying an American breakfast buffet at an adorable country restaurant with my sister-in-law as our server

and made pizzas with Grandma.

We said goodbye to African field trips and said hello to American scenery.

A wild elephant in Mole National Park

I said goodbye to the dearth of sister-time and a lack of books and am soaking up the joy of both of them.

Book shopping with a sister in an attic when its raining.
 Does it get any better?

We three also went book shopping in an
unheated house in a bad snowstorm.
Sisters keep life far from boring.

Change, even good change, is associated with loss. In transitional periods, the good and the hard co-mingle, creating a melting pot of emotions that need to be processed and sorted. If you are going through a major life change right now, you might be interested in my next post, the Bridge of Transition. The analogy (not original with me) brought some clarity to the feelings associated with the pictures on this page.