Too far away to do much more than pray, I kept checking my phone this past week for updates from my sister Laura. Her two-year-old daughter Deborah was recently diagnosed with hypoglycemia. The cause is still undetermined even after two traumatic ER visits, two lengthy ambulance rides to the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, and over a week spent in the hospital. Deborah is home, thankfully, and doing well, though her parents live with the knowledge that her sugars might plummet uncontrollably and another hospital stay will be necessary.
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| Listening to the doctor's heart |
This isn't their first experience with hospital stays. Laura herself has been hospitalized
eight different times and, no, not always with new babies to show for it. Knowing
her history, I asked her for ways the rest of us can reach out to a
family with a hospitalized member. Many of the following ideas were gleaned from her abundant experience, from acts of kindness gracious friends poured out on them during their medical crises. Truly, the beauty of the family of God is
highlighted during an emergency. Denny Kenaston said, "God the Father is seated on the throne; God the Son is at His right hand. But where is the Spirit? You is the hands and you is the feets." One tangible evidence of His Spirit within us is when we find ways of caring for those in a crisis.
At the hospital:
1. Ask
if visitors would be enjoyed. If they are,
make time in your busy schedule to pay them a visit.
2. Communicate
by text. Texts can be received anytime and read or responded to when they get
the chance.
3. Before
you visit, ask if the caregiver (or patient) wants you to bring anything, either from home
or the store.
4. If
your children are sick, leave them at home.
5. Be
aware that a hospitalized child might not be on
their best behavior. Don’t go away appalled.
6. If
it is a child who is hospitalized, offer to babysit so the parents can have a
little date.
Gift ideas:
Ideas are endless, of course, but
here are a few proven to be successful.
1. Deborah
really enjoyed glo-sticks and helium balloons.
2. Give
a box of small, wrapped reward gifts to be opened after painful or scary
procedures. Deborah needed her blood sugar checked every three hours around the
clock, had to have three IV placements, and one painful heel stick –the latter
aggressive enough to fill a test tube with blood. Reward presents can
(sometimes) save the day.
3. If
a small child is going to be in the hospital for a lengthy stay, give them a
photo album of favorite people and places.
4. No
money? No worry. Take a pile of your own books to read to the child during your
visit.
5. Don’t
forget the mom! Take snacks and books for her, too.
6. Hospital
food can get old after a while. Families of inpatients usually have access to a
fridge and microwave in the family lounge. Take home-cooked meals for them to
reheat.
7. Can't be there in person? Order a gift from the hospital's online gift shop and have it delivered to the room. While selecting a gift for Laura and Deborah, we noticed that CHOP's online store also had $5 meal vouchers -another great gift idea.
8. If
the hospital is far away from home, give gift cards for fuel.
9. Offer
rides. “I didn’t always have a car available,” Laura said, “so it was nice to
have a friend from church offer take us to the ER.”
 |
Gigi, the monkey, deserves
applause, too, for tirelessly
offering moral support. |
For those waiting at home:
Having a family member in the hospital is hard
on the ones left back home. Don't forget them.
1.
Offer to go grocery shopping, or surprise them with a box of staple ingredients (and a few treats).
2. Take them prepared foods like a hot supper or frozen meals. Supply them with convenient options for packed lunches.
3.
If the patient is hospitalized for an extended
stay, volunteer to do something special with the little people left at home.
4. If teens are shouldering the burden at home, find ways to recognize their service. My 18-year-old niece did a marvelous job of
taking care of the home while her mother and sister were in the hospital for a
week. But it wasn’t easy -especially since she was caring for a toddler with a stomach flu. Friends dropped by to visit, bring flowers, or to
drop off a frappe. Their care renewed her courage.
4.
Offer to babysit the little ones still at home.
5.
Comb little girls for school or church.
6.
Offer laundromat services. Pick up the dirty
laundry and return it freshly washed, ironed and folded.
Afterwards:
Whew! They are finally home. But
the family might not feel like everything is back to normal as quickly as the
rest of us do. It might not just be curdled milk and fossilized leftovers that
need to be sorted out; hospital stays can be exhausting emotionally, too.
1. Offer your services. Need a hot meal? Laundry washed? Groceries? Depending
on the situation, they might be exhausted or simply overwhelmed at trying to
catch up.
2. Text, call, or stop by. Sometimes a mother needs to unwind, to debrief. Show your support by lending a listening ear.
3. In the event of an ongoing medical problem, don't wait for a crisis to show your love and support.
Jesus said, "I was sick and ye visited me." Then said they, 'Lord? When did we see you sick?' And Jesus said to them, "As often as you did it to the least of these, you did it to Me."
(paraphrased from Matthew 25)
All photo credits go to Laura. She read and approved this post.
